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About Varied / Student SheaFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 4 Years
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holy fuck i can’t do anything right
there are bullet holes in my veins
that were burned every fucking
time i disappointed someone
i tripped on daisies on my
way to the playground
i got sidetracked through a
trail of vines and thorns and fallout and the
prettiest of all always had the worst
i dont mean to be this
big mistake i try my hardest
i do what i can when i can
but my ambitions are simply to
survive and not to be
bigger than this world
i dont see why they couldn’t just
see me for the person i am
i am not better i am not
greater i am not
something more than my
i am a person.
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 4 0
and each kiss felt
each one felt like
it had been practiced,
there was no more
sloppy innocence
no more messy passion
that left me craving more
and even if it was not
perfect, at least
it was real.
it did not leave fire on
my cheeks and
water in my lungs so
that i felt like i was burning
and drowning at the same time,
that beautiful harmony was gone.
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 1 0
being a poet
is the worst thing to be,
because poets are
broken and
(feeling so much
and saying
so little)
poets are a walking cataclysm,
vowels and nouns and adjectives
that walk among us and
pierce our compassion
with their honesty,
there is fire in
my veins and water
in my lungs
drowning and burning
until i find the asylum
in between.
i can’t say the
things that i feel,
i can’t feel the
words that i say.
we are nothing without
we are
there is nothing
beautiful in a tragedy,
there is nothing noble in
being broken.
my compass is
made of copper,
my heart is
rusted steel,
my eyes are glass but
i swear they
will not
b r e a k.
11:27 pm
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 3 3
The Crazies and the Chameleons
it's like
i woke up,
looked in the mirror,
and realized i was ugly.
i'm not sure when it happened--
but one day my friends
stopped playing dress up
and started being the grown-ups
and i don’t know what scared
me more
that my childhood was over,
or that we had decided
it was
all short skirts,
lipstick & eyeliner
and skin we didn't know we had
and suddenly the makeup wasn't
to look like mommy,
it was to be the people
we thought
we were.
we were in a rush to grow up,
until we started to fall apart
piece by piece,
broken heart after broken heart.
we grew up,
and we grew apart,
trying to find love
(or maybe just someone to hold us together)
when it should have
been each other
i hate
that i never feel comfortable
in my own skin
and i'm just waiting
to wake up
out of this nightmare
as the person i wish i was
i am
a chameleon,
blending in
so i won't stand out
and the skeletons in my closet
carry roses
painted black
they're the ones
i've loved,
and i've lost.
the words tha
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 3 6
The scary thing
about eating disorders
is that
at first 
it's just 
"i'll skip lunch"
and suddenly 
you haven't eaten 
in three days.
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 2 0
you broke my heart
and then left it there
you crumpled me up like a 
piece of scrap paper
and threw me away
you left your scribbles
all over me 
and i can't erase them
you picked up the pieces,
but paper is never the same.
the ink has sunk into me,
and nothing will erase it.
Try and fix your mistakes;
but you never really forget. 
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 5 2
Call me selfish all you want,
say I have no empathy.
Because the only one 
who is going to look after me, 
is me. 
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 2 0
WUDDUP by breathkeepsusalive WUDDUP :iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 2 1
when I was only
and a half
i sat with my head
in my
dressed in black,
in his room
where i grew up
fourteen years on this
and all i could think
“why does everyone die on me.”
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 3 0
Hardest Part
i've told myself
since i was 11 
that there was no room for hope
in a heart so broken
and so i stitched myself together,
with memories i needed to forget 
so i could stop the pain 
i still feel 
and i still know
i'm unlovable 
and i can't help but feel
like there was something i 
could have done
for you
and i don't know why
but that note made me cry
because it made me remember 
that you exist 
and i don't know what's the hardest part:
that you still love me,
or that you always will. 
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 1 0
is a fragile line between heartbreak
and love
that people spend
their whole lives protecting
like a guardrail for their hearts.
a line that takes a lifetime to draw
and a single sentence to
wipe away.
trust is telling your every fear,
in hopes that
someone understands
the pain and the frustration
trust is allowing yourself
be lead into the dark
hoping that place is better than this one,
even if the hand leading you is strange.
trust is letting yourself
fall in love
despite the odds
it’s knowing that
even though your line is broken,
that sometimes it takes
more than one person
to draw it again.
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 1 0
everything falls out
in the end
and i feel like
i can’t move forward.
and maybe my mind
is playing tricks again
or maybe this evermore
is my prison.
and you don’t know loneliness
the way i do
you don’t know
how the words
so simple
can cut you like a knife.
you don’t know how
the doubt sinks in
and you ruin everything you love.
you don’t know what it’s like
to feel so hollow
that your thoughts
bounce around inside
your skull
until you don’t know
if they’re yours or theirs.
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 0 0
And my smile is steady, 
but each day I feel a twinge in my chest
because I know 
I know
I don't belong here.
And I wonder what's the point
when each day is the same,
And I know no one really cares.
I give a bit of myself to everyone,
whenever they're alone.
Because I know the pain
of loneliness. 
I know the ache in your chest 
and the hallow look in your eyes.
But when I need a friend
all I am,
all I ever will be,
is selfish.
My heart has been pierced 
so many times, 
I wonder if it's even there at all. 
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 1 0
i am more
than these marks
trailing my skin
my arms were a battleground
between my heart and mind
caught in a crossfire
that ended in nothing
but an aching heart
and lost sanity
i was mutilated
by my own thoughts
by the words whispered;
unsure if they were mine
or his
i feel myself forgetting
but pain is not something
you ever let go
it clings to you like
a child
you hold on tight because
it is all you’ve ever known.
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 1 2
Skeletons and Chess Pieces
Freedom is a rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.

depression is not black and white.
depression is a constant numbness that fills you
and when you do smile
you regret it
because you remember
you don't deserve it.

and sometimes you just look in the mirror
and you don't feel like there's anything there
is feeling broken
right after
feeling like you
be happy
cause that hurts more
and people think that
its all about sadness
and you only can be sad after something bad
its not sadness.
it is when you feel absolutely nothing

well, sometimes it can be like sadness
but that's rare
i think

it's usually just when you
feel like you're gone
or you're in the wrong place
or you don't deserve your place
or you just aren't

for me
it was like
i was so unwanted
all i wanted was someone to love me
i wanted someone to care.

but no one ever did.
and i was so tired of trying
so tired of having my heart crus
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 5 10
Red Rose
and you see my best
was not
was never good enough
and all i wanted
was for you to finally see
that i just needed
(maybe craved)
your love
and as i knock on your front door
my face
(my heart)
it drops
because my heart
won’t beat
will break
when your love
i’ve spent all my time
playing alone
in this
red-rose sand
you never liked it here.
and thorns have been scratching
my heart
out of my chest
I tried to move on but I can’t
:iconbreathkeepsusalive:breathkeepsusalive 3 5





breathkeepsusalive's Profile Picture
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
Hi =w= I'm Shea. I do art and stuff.

I like photography and writing and digital art, mostly.

Thanks for visiting my page ;u;


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byzho Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2016  Professional General Artist
Happy Birthday! Have your cake and eat it too
SirPerryBerry Featured By Owner Edited Mar 16, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
happy birthday! hope you have a awesome day! x3
RaphSieg007 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015
Happy birthday!
CookieNomMonster Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Student General Artist
You've been tagged!
genericusername11 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday!! :D :love: :party: :cake: :hug:
breathkeepsusalive Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you <3 
SirPerryBerry Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
happy birthday! i hope you have a awesome day!!! x3
breathkeepsusalive Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Student General Artist
thank you <3 
SirPerryBerry Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
your welcome!!! x3 <3
byzho Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2014  Professional General Artist
Happy birthday! Party
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